jokes by ned

on tuesday i went grocery shopping.

i was wandering the frozen food aisle when an old man in one of those motorized scooter/wheelchair things came up to me.

"are you and your husband having a nice time?"

this was funny because i was alone, so i laughed.

"i have some jokes for you," he said. "you'll like them. they're funny."

he pulled out a packet of jokes he had photocopied from a joke book. on the top of the first page he had scrawled, "JOKES BY NED." i pretended to glance through the packet.

"yeah, these are pretty good."

"will you give me some money for my jokes? i bet you have a five-dollar bill in your purse there."

i pulled out my wallet. "uh, no," i said, "but i have a one-dollar bill." i handed it to him.

"that's not enough."

"i do what i can, sir."

he looked at the dollar bill in his hands.

"give me back my jokes."

"give me back my dollar."

"FINE."

and he motored off to harass some boys at the other end of the aisle.