the smith's line: thoughts and experience

of all the movies in the world, american splendor is the only one i would consider taking to a desert island to watch over, and over, and over. this is mostly because i've already watched it over, and over, and over, and have yet to get sick of it. harvey pekar fascinates me. i'm not sure if i would like to meet him though. i would probably just like to admire him from afar (and i really do admire him).

i feel a similar way about charles bukowski.



except that i definitely would not like to meet that guy. i mean, even if he was alive.

so, what does this have to do with anything?

i thought of harvey pekar today. at the grocery store i was standing behind a woman who had two boys. one looked to be around six years old, and the other one was two. she was buying twenty bottles of water. each time a bottle was scanned, the register read $1.19.

"these are supposed to be 10 for $10."

the cashier said, "i think that's for another brand of water."

"i was here on saturday and i bought twenty of these same bottles of water, and they were 10 for $10."

the cashier sent someone to do a price check. in the meantime, an older man in suspenders and coke-bottle glasses came behind me. he asked the six-year-old if he had a good christmas. personally i think the time to talk about christmas is a little past due, and i think the boy felt the same way, because he had to think a minute before he said, "yeah."

price-check man came back. the water was indeed 10 for $10. the cashier voided the eight bottles of water she had already scanned, and then had to manually enter a price for each of the twelve remaining bottles of water.

this process had taken about seven minutes. i was thinking of harvey pekar's comic about standing behind old jewish ladies at the grocery store. i had watched a jewish lady scream at a waitress in a deli once, and even though i knew this woman in front of me wasn't jewish, i felt i was getting the same experience. there were other registers open, but i chose to stay in this one. i was excited. the old man didn't go anywhere either, but his motivations were different. i like to think he stayed in line so he could have something to complain about later.

and just when the cashier, the old man, and i thought this lady was about to pay, she asked, "did you get the kleenex coupon in there?"

the cashier was holding a stack of coupons. she pulled out the kleenex one.

"this one is void."

"no it's not."

"yes it is."

"there's no way this coupon is void."

"i'm sorry, but it is."

"it's not. you have to take this coupon."

it went on like this without any signs of stopping. then, the old man behind me looked at the two-year-old boy sitting in the shopping cart.

"are you a ninja?"

the man was completely serious, but his voice was like something out of a cartoon. the boy stared blankly back at him.

"i've see you've got some ninja moves there."

the woman continued arguing. the cashier called a manager. the old man was waiting for an answer. i was covering my mouth so he wouldn't see me laughing. the two-year-old grinned and whispered, "yeah."